>oh yah. weeds is the best sitcom in the history of sitcoms.
time has told,
ohlivianne
Monday, April 20, 2009
Speak what you think today in hard words and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said today.
> when it rains
> it pours.
> really hard.
> =D about time biatches.
> you cant turn back the clock but you can wind it up again.. i've wound it up again let's see where this time around takes me.
only time will tell,
ohlivianne
> it pours.
> really hard.
> =D about time biatches.
> you cant turn back the clock but you can wind it up again.. i've wound it up again let's see where this time around takes me.
only time will tell,
ohlivianne
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say and not giving a damn.
Haven't blogged in agesssss.......
Here's whats been up:
> I found a house! Weee! It's almost scarey to have a definite direction now. There's no more turning back! With that said there's alot of lasts im experiencing which is so fun! Graduation is coming.. thankfully! I can't go to school and worry about the complex spanish structure when i know my little yellow house is waiting for me.
> The past few weeks have been wierd for me. Instead of being wrapped up in life and doing things i watched. it's interesting what you see when you havent anything invested in whats happening. I feel like i go to school with a bunch of immature idiots. oh wait... i am.
> I have also realized recently how much people come to me for advice. which i dont mind, i actually like it. but i ask myself: self... hahah.. why do people come to you for advice. if its becuase i've been there done that on all this shit than that blows! well its good for them but shit i've been through alot then. maybe i should write a book on how to: not sweat the small stuff... =)
> GET ME OUT OF STL. You find that as the year is dwindling down odd things happen. people that you havent talked to since freshman year break out of their shell and talk to you becuase they too have figured out we will all probably never see eachother again. so you see random people friending you and asking you on dates and sending you random texts. oh boy! FLORIDA HERE I COME.
> Purgatory: probably spelled that wrong but you know what i mean. this time before we all go to college and now is just like a dull rutt. everything is ending, but new things can't start because there isnt enough time left to deveolp them.
> Life is better when you believe you are the creator of your own happiness. also figured that out recently.
> Happy as hell right now. Hopefully it'll stay that way...
Only time will tell
ohlivianne
Here's whats been up:
> I found a house! Weee! It's almost scarey to have a definite direction now. There's no more turning back! With that said there's alot of lasts im experiencing which is so fun! Graduation is coming.. thankfully! I can't go to school and worry about the complex spanish structure when i know my little yellow house is waiting for me.
> The past few weeks have been wierd for me. Instead of being wrapped up in life and doing things i watched. it's interesting what you see when you havent anything invested in whats happening. I feel like i go to school with a bunch of immature idiots. oh wait... i am.
> I have also realized recently how much people come to me for advice. which i dont mind, i actually like it. but i ask myself: self... hahah.. why do people come to you for advice. if its becuase i've been there done that on all this shit than that blows! well its good for them but shit i've been through alot then. maybe i should write a book on how to: not sweat the small stuff... =)
> GET ME OUT OF STL. You find that as the year is dwindling down odd things happen. people that you havent talked to since freshman year break out of their shell and talk to you becuase they too have figured out we will all probably never see eachother again. so you see random people friending you and asking you on dates and sending you random texts. oh boy! FLORIDA HERE I COME.
> Purgatory: probably spelled that wrong but you know what i mean. this time before we all go to college and now is just like a dull rutt. everything is ending, but new things can't start because there isnt enough time left to deveolp them.
> Life is better when you believe you are the creator of your own happiness. also figured that out recently.
> Happy as hell right now. Hopefully it'll stay that way...
Only time will tell
ohlivianne
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
I write because I'm afraid to say some things out loud.
> I haven't blogged in a while becuase there has been to much stuff to say.
> So im just gunna start from the begining.
> This week has been horrible. My friend antonio is missing and my other friend eric is dead. i cant comprehend the two things. i heard the news about eric monday, but it didnt hit me untill today. i skipped my firs two hours and sat outside on the steps and cried. i cried for antonio and his 7 month old baby boy. i cried for eric and his family.
>after going to my one class... i went on a drive, i found this really amazing bridge. i know that sounds creepy but its not. so this odd ball bridget is in fenton and its over the meramec river and its blocked off so cars cant go through it. probably cause its about to come crashing down... so i get out of my car and i go and i walk onto the bridge. im sitting there with my legs dangling over the side of the bridge. it was nice to be alone. i stared in to the river and thought of the search team looking for antonios body in the des peres river and desided to stop looking into the water. i laid down in the middle of what used to be a two laned road and stared up between the iron bars into the sky. it was freeing. to lay there.
>i've been crying alot lately. its been a good outlet, but at the same time its draining and disturbing. i actually havent gone a day since saturday night without crying. eric was a good guy, and i never ever heard him once say a bad thing about any one. he was from canada, maybe thats why... =) his burial is friday, and im going to miss it so im going to go to the wake on thursday. i will miss him becuase i never knew him as well as i should have. and heres the thing... i have honestly for the first time been face to face with the delicacy of life. its threatening. its terrifing. i dont like that it took something like the death of a friend to realize that. today there was his football jersey hanging outside of the autotorium along with some other things, and it really disturbed me. out of everything in the world eric could wear, he wore his jersey the most. and seeing it hanging like that on a hanger was heart breaking.
> being on the bridge today made me realize the unimportance of life's problems. no matter how much i want someone to realize he has the potential to make a stupid decision, or how much i want eric back, or how much i wish they would find antonio, it all passes and in time will become much less in the front of our minds. it'll heal over and be something to look back on and say " hey remember when i was so upset about bladiebla.. that was ages ago." and between here and then, there will be so many other distractions and so many other dissapointments to keep me going. todays problems are tomorrows distractions.
> dwelling on the negative simply contributes to it's power.
> filters: are my worst nightmare.
> FUCK
>im so emotional right now. explainable but still pathetic. i hate being like this its not normal. at times i feel really out of touch with myself and friends and i get angry when they want to talk about things because that makes me relive things i dont want to think about.
> i hope i pick myself up soon and start working my way back to life before all this happened.
only time will tell,
olivianne
> So im just gunna start from the begining.
> This week has been horrible. My friend antonio is missing and my other friend eric is dead. i cant comprehend the two things. i heard the news about eric monday, but it didnt hit me untill today. i skipped my firs two hours and sat outside on the steps and cried. i cried for antonio and his 7 month old baby boy. i cried for eric and his family.
>after going to my one class... i went on a drive, i found this really amazing bridge. i know that sounds creepy but its not. so this odd ball bridget is in fenton and its over the meramec river and its blocked off so cars cant go through it. probably cause its about to come crashing down... so i get out of my car and i go and i walk onto the bridge. im sitting there with my legs dangling over the side of the bridge. it was nice to be alone. i stared in to the river and thought of the search team looking for antonios body in the des peres river and desided to stop looking into the water. i laid down in the middle of what used to be a two laned road and stared up between the iron bars into the sky. it was freeing. to lay there.
>i've been crying alot lately. its been a good outlet, but at the same time its draining and disturbing. i actually havent gone a day since saturday night without crying. eric was a good guy, and i never ever heard him once say a bad thing about any one. he was from canada, maybe thats why... =) his burial is friday, and im going to miss it so im going to go to the wake on thursday. i will miss him becuase i never knew him as well as i should have. and heres the thing... i have honestly for the first time been face to face with the delicacy of life. its threatening. its terrifing. i dont like that it took something like the death of a friend to realize that. today there was his football jersey hanging outside of the autotorium along with some other things, and it really disturbed me. out of everything in the world eric could wear, he wore his jersey the most. and seeing it hanging like that on a hanger was heart breaking.
> being on the bridge today made me realize the unimportance of life's problems. no matter how much i want someone to realize he has the potential to make a stupid decision, or how much i want eric back, or how much i wish they would find antonio, it all passes and in time will become much less in the front of our minds. it'll heal over and be something to look back on and say " hey remember when i was so upset about bladiebla.. that was ages ago." and between here and then, there will be so many other distractions and so many other dissapointments to keep me going. todays problems are tomorrows distractions.
> dwelling on the negative simply contributes to it's power.
> filters: are my worst nightmare.
> FUCK
>im so emotional right now. explainable but still pathetic. i hate being like this its not normal. at times i feel really out of touch with myself and friends and i get angry when they want to talk about things because that makes me relive things i dont want to think about.
> i hope i pick myself up soon and start working my way back to life before all this happened.
only time will tell,
olivianne
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
> Dear READERS: i was driving home from work today and i think i've decided to quit my little shanagin. in past experiences things that start this way and then turn the way they have only end badly. i am paranoid. majorly. but i can't stand the way this whole thing is making me feel. im starting to feel the responsiblities i have coming up and its tuning out to be a whole hell of alot. why do i want to go into those with baggage? coz im stupid. but all things aside, i've grown into myself and as individual woman who relys on no one to make her happy but herself. and it's not easy letting people in like that beucase i have been at the extreme opposite end of that spectrum, being over dependant on someone. going back to that would be something i really dont want to see happen. and to aid in this thought process (reminder im driving in the car on my way home from work) every sad though provoking song seems to make it's way through my speakers.
> this is a very temporary head strong decision im sure. i over think things to the point of no return. my thought process is similar to a blender.
> you know what? i thought about blogging on at least 10 different occasions today.
> so as of right now: im completely done with even trying to figure things out but...
only time will tell,
Olivianne
> this is a very temporary head strong decision im sure. i over think things to the point of no return. my thought process is similar to a blender.
> you know what? i thought about blogging on at least 10 different occasions today.
> so as of right now: im completely done with even trying to figure things out but...
only time will tell,
Olivianne
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it
> with this quote in mind, im having problems figuring out my own level of deserving. does that make sense? i was talking with a friend of mine the other day about how my own insecurities hold me back from things that have the opportunity to make me happy. and the sick part is, i have insecurities about my insecurities. so its a vicious circle of me getting no where. but i can see where i want to end up, which is a slight speed change in this ferociously spinning "mewheel."
> the feeling i have earned something, specifically someONE, is different than the feeling someone has earned me. selfish? probably.
> i have this issue with trust and not believing a word that comes out of someones mouth. and its very obvious. and i dont meant to generalize everyone but i seems that majority of the people i encounter, never mean what they say. consistancy is turning from a commonplace to a priveledge. which sucks.
> word on the street: that in which you say you hate the most, is most present in your actions.
> i strive to dissprove that. everyday.
> i feel like this is a bitch blog. oh well, maybe that'll change.
only time will tell,
olivianne
> the feeling i have earned something, specifically someONE, is different than the feeling someone has earned me. selfish? probably.
> i have this issue with trust and not believing a word that comes out of someones mouth. and its very obvious. and i dont meant to generalize everyone but i seems that majority of the people i encounter, never mean what they say. consistancy is turning from a commonplace to a priveledge. which sucks.
> word on the street: that in which you say you hate the most, is most present in your actions.
> i strive to dissprove that. everyday.
> i feel like this is a bitch blog. oh well, maybe that'll change.
only time will tell,
olivianne
If you don't risk anything you risk even more
> day 1 of blogging, started off a little rough. but now all is well and i'm hitting the ground running.
> so as of right now, a few things are going down in my life. nothing of real significance but things none the less. first off, JULIANNE TOWERS, you have become more of a friend to me than i ever thought possible. and for the past few months you have been my blog. hopefully this will lessen some of that constanst blab.
> 1/2: my dearest friends: please remove your heads from your asses. watching close friends consume their exsistance with nonsense is painful. watchign this play out like a cheap 2nd rate horror film is gross. i've never seen two people compromise themselves so much for something that deserves so little.
> 3: ew
> dear BLOGGERS: follow me. haha not in the stalker way but on here. i'm really excited to be a blogger. not quite a total blogger head yet, but give me time.
> i like this.
> i'm sure i will have more to blog about in the days to come.
only time will tell,
olivianne
> so as of right now, a few things are going down in my life. nothing of real significance but things none the less. first off, JULIANNE TOWERS, you have become more of a friend to me than i ever thought possible. and for the past few months you have been my blog. hopefully this will lessen some of that constanst blab.
> 1/2: my dearest friends: please remove your heads from your asses. watching close friends consume their exsistance with nonsense is painful. watchign this play out like a cheap 2nd rate horror film is gross. i've never seen two people compromise themselves so much for something that deserves so little.
> 3: ew
> dear BLOGGERS: follow me. haha not in the stalker way but on here. i'm really excited to be a blogger. not quite a total blogger head yet, but give me time.
> i like this.
> i'm sure i will have more to blog about in the days to come.
only time will tell,
olivianne
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